I am the queen of multi-tasking. I talk to my mother while I drive home. I eat while I read things on my computer. I watch tv while I do my toenails. I watch YouTube videos on the treadmill. I am always looking for a way to do many things at once.
I sound like YOU, don’t I?
In fact, you’re even thinking “That’s nothing! I can do even MORE at one time!”
Sigh.
And that’s our collective problem.
I have a general rule that when the “universe” offers up a message to me three times in rapid succession, I’d better shut up and listen. THIS week, it was about mindfulness – or being mindful instead of mind full.
It isn’t the first time I’ve had to be reminded of this lesson…and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I KNOW the value of being present in the moment. I KNOW the value of being mindful and deliberate in actions. But…I rarely DO it.
So why does Mindfulness matter?
When we are not mindful, we are mindless, wandering through our own lives paying little attention to those moments that define our lives. The moments may be big, they may be small, but they are the experiences that string together to create memories that make up our life and our history.
Let me share a story that always is top of mind when I get the “be mindful” reminder from the universe.
When I was 24, I had my first corporate job doing desktop support for a company that wrote training materials on complex technology. They employed hundreds of engineers, mostly men and mostly ex-military officers. This gave the workplace a certain tenor. It was efficient and everyone worked ceaselessly while they were in the office. Which is why one engineer caught my attention.
- First, she was one of the few female engineers working at the company.
- Second, she was from Italy and was both beautiful and exotic.
- Third, she had the most fascinating lunch habits.
Every day, when everyone else was gulping down lunch in front of their computer or some other urgent work tasks, this elegant woman would slowly unpack her meal. She always brought food from home. {It always smelled delicious!} She would pull out a placemat, a plate, silverware and a glass from her overhead cubby.
After heating her food, she would plate it all on her dish (with a eye to how appealing it was arranged) and tuck away her travel containers. She would turn off her computer monitor, place a linen napkin in her lap and eat her lunch.
Fork up. One bite. Fork down. Chew. Swallow.
Fork up. One more bite. Fork down. Chew. Swallow.
Fork up. One more bite. Fork down. Chew. Swallow.
It was excruciating and beautiful to watch her eat.
I could see her from my desk where I was wolfing down a sandwich I grabbed at the mall. It took her FOREVER to eat. It took her FOREVER to chew. She never spoke to anyone. She never multi-tasked. She just ate.
When she was done, she would take her dishes to the kitchen, wash them, dry them, and return them to her overhead. And then the computer monitor would turn back and and she was back on the clock – as efficient as anyone else.
I have one other friend who eats like this. Slowly. Deliberately. I’m enthralled to eat lunch or dinner with her because her focus, her mindfulness slows me down and…has an elegance to it that I’ve always craved.
A Harvard study actually discovered that we spend almost 47% of our day thinking about something other than what we are doing. And that doesn’t make us happier!
So why do it? Or better phrased, why not STOP doing it?
I’ve devoted at least forty years (if not more!) to building the habit or “muscle” of multi-tasking. Now is the time for me (and you) to stop. It’s hard, for sure. And I’m always slightly terrified how much I might NOT get done if I stop doing many things at once.
But here’s my argument for it.
I am constantly bruised from running into corners of furniture by being distracted. Slowing down and being deliberate should help that.
I overeat when I scarf down food and don’t pay attention to how hungry or full I am. Slowing WAAAAY down and being mindful will help me manage my portion control better and support my goal of an eternally girlish figure!
My jabbering monkey mind that brings me worry and fret can sit down and take a back seat so I can enjoy a beautiful sunset, or watch sunlight filter across my dusty floors (the dust will be there after I stop admiring the sunlight!).
The stress I have from endless To-Do lists can melt away as I focus solely on the task at hand.
My predilection for day dreaming means I’m often not totally listening to my partner, which harms my relationship.
This week’s challenge (I’m building with small wins, folks!) is to turn off the distractions and be present. To slow down and be present. To be present for and enjoy what is actually going on. To recapture the wide-eyed wonder I know exists if I just pay attention to the beauty that surrounds me. To do a single task with a focused mind.
My first task is to eat my meals at the table, sitting down, without electronics. Baby steps.
And when I feel distracted and out of control, I am going to use my desk labyrinth to focus me. That’s a different story for another day – but if you want it sooner rather than later, let me know!
I invite you to join me in this challenge when you find yourself slipping into multi-tasking distraction.
If you have any tips or tricks for me, please share them with me in the comments below!
