Are we fighting or embracing age? I can’t keep track these days.
Social media encourages me to join the Going Gray Nation. Are we supposed to be Aging Gracefully? Are we Pro-Aging?
Does Anti-Aging mean we are AGAINST aging? If I fight aging, am I aging disgracefully?
I often use the language of “fighting” aging but my approach is actually a blend. There are things I’m accepting and embracing just as there are other things I’m fighting tooth and nail.
What I’m Fighting
To start, I’m fighting the establishment. I’ll admit I was never was a terribly vocal feminist. But the male dominated medical establishment has really pissed me off. There is so little research into things we need to know and understand about aging. As soon as I officially hit menopause, I started to feel invisible. Worse yet, I was pushed into medical menopause with a hysterectomy that no one took them time to educate me about. NOW I am much better informed.
Talk about too little, too late.
The general theme of “we don’t really know”, “we aren’t really curious”, and “we don’t really care” is EVERYWHERE in medical care. I could list them out. I won’t. Maybe another time.
Did you know that our cholesterol starts to rise when we age?
Did you know that baseline bone density tests used a 30+ year old white male?
Did you know that heavy metals and toxins are inherited from our mothers, increase over our life time, and then are passed onto our children as new baselines?
I’m fighting the symptoms of menopause. Suddenly I woke up in a strange body that didn’t function the way I was used to. I had brain fog, hot flashes, and weight gain. My skin is more lax. My muscles don’t build in the same way. I can’t exercise weight off. My doctors (and friends) said “This just happens as you age.”
Resigned. Oh well.
Not for me. I’m fighting mad about it. I’m am trying hormone replacement, changing my workouts, altering when and how and what I eat. I’ve added in probiotics and focused on gut health and the changes that hormones play in how we metabolize food. I’ve increased my protein and fiber, while decreasing my carbs and (sniff) sugar.
While I haven’t yet found THE answer for me, this line of inquiry shows me that we don’t really know. On the fringes, people are experimenting and researching. None of it is mainstream or taught at school for today’s doctors. I am educating myself. And it’s overwhelming but gratifying. I have a lot of faith that my dogged approach will yield results. I will report back with this journey.
I refuse to give an unnecessary inch to wrinkles, age spots, lax skin, or my overnight cellulite. Anything and everything is on the table in this fight. Red light, laser, microneedling, Retin A, copious use of sunscreens, big brimmed floppy hats, SPF sleeves and long sleeved tshirts, niacinamide serums, at-home peels – to name a few. Maybe heavier lasers and chemical peels are in my future.
I want to look in the mirror and see someone that looks externally how young I feel internally. This stranger staring back at me has been the most disconcerting of all unexpected changes. It happens fast. If you know, you know.
I want to say goodby to random aches and pains and injuries. You know those jokes about pulling a muscle while you’re lying in bed? Those are about me. I have more bumps and bruises, strains, sprains, and injuries than I’ve ever had. Doing as little as possible to avoid hurting myself!
I have regular visits with massage therapists, chiropractors, functional physicians, yoga, stretching, various tools to encourage relaxation and restoration of muscles. In short, I’m trying everything I can not to lose a bit of strength, stamina, flexibility, and grit that I’ve had for so long.
It’s tiring. Some days I do better than others. You know what I mean. I’m scrambling for every precious little win, trusting they will add up to a bigger win when it counts in 20 years.
What I’m Embracing
I am celebrating a new found “no sh!ts given” attitude. I care what you think, but I won’t alter my behavior for it. I am my own person.
Age has brought me a sense of true freedom to simply be who I am.
While I’m on the topic, I love getting to know myself. I’ve always had a sense of me, but I lost a lot of it when so much life (and COVID-19) hit. I’m unearthing who I am and what my dreams are at this stage of my life. I’m embracing where I AM instead of focusing on where I’ve been or where I’m not.
I love talking about aging. I want to break down the taboo of hiding or lying about our age. I am fighting what I can (see above) and I’m mighty proud. So I’m happy to discuss my age, my procedures, my approach, my new knowledge, my curiosity. There is an openness that I find easy to embrace. Many of my friends are younger and I want to learn, integrate, and disseminate the things I find out. That wasn’t the original intent of the blog but it’s certainly what it’s turned in to. A place for me to park the things I’m checking out.
I have (mostly) stopped comparisons with other people. I was always (still am!) my own worst critic but I suffered a great deal from comparing myself to others. In the world of social media lies with filters, photo retouching, and now the emergence of Artificial Intelligence (AI), I’ve come to realize that I can’t trust what my eyes see, so there is no point in worrying about it.
I love that there are so many approaches to aging. As much as I complain about the lack of information and “help” – there is an increasingly vocal and visible group of women talking about aging. This gives us better variety of role models. I tease about the going gray nation. But secretly I’m envious they look SO beautiful with gray hair. Maybe one day. Not today but maybe one day!
I fully embrace that age is a number but it doesn’t define you. Age is an ATTITUDE and we get to choose what that attitude is each and every day. For me, it will undoubtedly lean towards the silly and absurd – because it can. Shift your thinking and shift your world.
At the end of the day, HOW we age is up to us.
Fight it, embrace it, forge your own path.
Make it your own – and don’t forget to share it with me!
