“Learning without thought is labour lost; thought without learning is perilous.”
Confucius
As I noted in my last blog, I think it’s always a good time to reflect a bit on things that have happened looking for lessons to be learned. Birthday is one great opportunity and year end is another.
I like to create a ritual around it because it makes it weightier and more meaningful to me. I journal to reflect. I meditate to reflect. I do anything that transports me into a different mental space so I’m not just crashing wildly through my life.
My favorite ritual is to write down the blessings and the banes of the year and then burn them to release them back into the universe. If I feel I need the weight of the year released, this is my go to ritual.
This year though – this year is different.
It started off as something to muscle through and I oddly felt quite energized by my own resilience and adaptability. It quickly morphed into a sludgy, exhausting slog of ‘how much longer?”.
It’s tested my patience, my humor, my positivity, my stick-to-it ness, my creativity. This year has dropped me deeper into depression than I’ve been in a long time (I require naps to make it through many days) and has thrown off well-honed routines I thought would help me sail through this like a breeze.
It has also helped me discover what “giving in” can look like and how to shift focus once acceptance comes into view.
This year feels like a transition, a jumping-off-point to something new in my life.
- No longer does work tie me to a specific location.
- No longer does city living in the vibrant proximity of other people hold as much appeal.
- I went from living alone to living with someone after 15 years on my own. Despite the normal challenges of living with someone, it’s gone pretty smoothly and (i hope) deepened our relationship.
- Things that felt important (actual physical things) in the beginning of the year hold far less appeal and significant to me as I look back.
This year showed us the best and worst of us all. It’s held plenty of quiet, private moments to do some naval gazing and look at where I need to and can step up to be the better version of myself.
I’ve been given ample opportunity to learn how to look at the world through different eyes – and even when they don’t agree with MY perspective – find empathy and understanding to hopefully build bridges instead of walls.
I’ve also learned where that “line in the sand” is for me on many issues, which I wouldn’t have found if the year and everything in it hadn’t been radicalized as it was.
I know it was a tough year for most (if not all) of us – but I think there are blessings buried in most things.
I almost forgot – 2020 is also the year I stopped sitting on the fence and started my blog – THIS blog! It’s given me a creative outlet when I’ve needed it and now, with this as my 61st blog post in the year, I think it’s safe to say I’ve got some consistency under my belt.
I release 2020 with gratitude for the things I’ve learned through the year, things I’ve accomplished “despite it all”, and the gifts I will only be able to see in hindsight another many months down the road.
What blessings can you find out of this weird, weird year?
