“We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects.”
Herman Melville
The last post was about too much togetherness. The flip side to that coin is – not enough connection. Ironic, eh?
Two days into remote working and I’m already missing the faces of my colleagues and friends.
When we are told to socially distance and self-quarantine, there is a tendency to hunker down, turn inside, isolate mentally and emotionally as well as physically. Let’s face it. having an internet connection, email and text doesn’t really feed the human need for connection and contact.
Most of us have those people in our daily lives that also support and enhance our mental state and overall well-being. And it’s a two way street. The interaction benefits them as well. It may be a regular get together with your girlfriends. It may be golf every weekend with your buddies. It may be weekly band practice with your mates. It may simply be the interaction you get with your co-workers in the office.
As we are physically isolated from others during this time, we need to take time to think about new and different ways to connect with them. We are social creatures after all. We may gab and gossip on the phone, but nothing beats a good in-person chitchat. That’s why we are always meeting up for wine, coffee, activities.
One of the beautiful outcomes of this strange new time is that we are slowing down, assessing our lives, and observing it at a more human speed. Find ways to embrace this AND strengthen personal relationships.
How do we do this?
So glad you asked.
Leverage Technology
Those of us that are working remotely are already using technology to enable business interactions. But we don’t always think about leveraging technology to keep relationships alive while we are away from them.
- Face Time your friends. Many of us already do this with family, but we don’t do it with everyone. Take the time to think if you could reach out to friends in this way.
- Video conference your friends in place of your regular outing. Maybe there’s a gaggle of friends you usually hang out with. You can fill up on your “face-to-face” time while still being a socially responsible adult.
– Did you know that you can do a group video chat in Facebook Messenger? Just start a group chat and then you can all hit the video button in the upper right.
– You can also use Google Hangout to do the same thing. - Set up an online game. Set up a virtual tee time with friends, or select another social/competitive interaction where you can all still interact.
- Conference call friends. I’m heavily iPhone biased so I don’t have the details on Android phones, but on an iPhone you can conference calls together pretty easily. I have to assume the same is true of Android phones.
- Group texts allow you and your cohorts to chitchat en masse.
- Take a live online workout class with your exercise buddies. I’m seeing a lot of instructors offer FREE classes online. If we have to stay quarantined for long, we may see this switch over to a paid model at some point, but for now people are being generous with their time to limit the impact quarantine has on your daily routine. Make use of it.
- Post pictures on Instagram, SnapChat, Tik Tok, Facebook or your favorite social media site. Many people don’t indulge in selfies or daily “this is my life” photo posts. But just seeing someone’s face or having a sense of their day helps us maintain a connection. It helps us feel like we are still part of someone’s daily life. If it’s something you don’t do, consider starting this while we are socially isolated.
- Get some virtual culture with friends. There are museums, aquariums, concert venues that support a virtual experience. Here’s a great article by Conde Nast Traveler that lists a bunch of them. I’ve seen local musicians and bands do livestream performance so you may be able to see bands that normally play past your bedtime (well, mine at least!) Bonus: Many of them are free!
Go Old School
- Write a letter. In the speedy world of text and phone calls, we’ve lost the art of letter writing. Don’t you have a drawer with some stationary in it for some day? Today is that day. Send something snail mail. Trust me, receiving it is just like a hug.
- Send pictures. Yup – the slow way. The S – L – O – W way. Print them out and send them along. Add notes or memories so people retain that feeling of connection.
- Pick up the phone. This is really a reminder for me. I hate talking on the phone, but I realized in the world of text and email, I rarely talk to friends on the phone. I’m going to pick one a day to call. Just because I can.
If you’re in a communication/connection rut, now is a perfect time to shake things up. Wouldn’t it be fun to surprise someone by acting a bit “out of character”? I can only imagine my reaction if my mother wanted to set up a Google Hangout or hers if I sent her a letter in the mail. The very idea of it brings a smile to my face.
What new things have you tried to help maintain connection?
