It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.
Tony Robbins
Have you heard that it can take 21 days to form a new habit?
I’ve always cast a sideways glance at that because I’ve personally found that isn’t true for me. Come to find out that the person who popularized this notion was a plastic surgeon, Maxwell Maltz. However, in deference to Dr. Maltz, his actual observation was that it took a minimum of 21 days to form a habit.
Did you catch those two words? Observation. Minimum.
In typical fashion, his unscientific observation caught on and gained credibility as it was mis-reported and mis-quoted.
Our desire for the quick fix and a pithy platitude led us straight down the path of 21 days to a new habit.
A subsequent study tested this theory and found that on average, it takes more than two months for a habit to become automatic – and it can vary wildly from person to person and habit to habit.
It’s not pithy but it feels a lot more accurate to me.
Now that we have THAT out of the way, what’s the best way to approach making changes in your life?
Consistency
Let’s ignore the whole “number of days” bit and just focus on being consistent. Come to find out that just making a commitment to something, doing it repeatedly, being consistent – not only does it eventually build a habit but it also gets you forward movement in nearly every area of your life. One foot in front of the other.
Of course, we have to acknowledge the downside of consistency. You can have good habits and bad habits.
We are what we do consistently.
For years I worked out regularly, like clockwork. Then the pandemic. And I got very consistent at NOT working out. There are downsides to that bad habit. I’m continuing to focus daily on being consistent again in my workouts. If you remain consistently sedentary you won’t get more fit. It’s a hard hill to start climbing but if we do it consistently, eventually it will become easier and eventually it will yield us results.
This means little changes matter, as long as they are consistent.
I am a creature of habit. In the context of consistency, this is a blessing and a bane. Once I’m in a groove, things go smoothly and they go well. Getting in the groove and staying there is taking longer than I expected. My bad habits are holding on harder and longer than I’d like.
But…consistency. I’ll get there by outlasting them.
Consistency is showing up for me a lot this month. I started August with the commitment to focus on consistency Once I have this “mastered”, then I can tweak and fine tune it.
My areas of focus
Movement
I’ve had the intention of getting in regular exercise and doing this or that since the beginning of the year. I decided for the month of August, I would focus on reaching 10,000 steps a day. That aligns with the CDC’s recommendations for moderate exercise. In the back of my head that’s only a starting point, the bottom bar if you will. It isn’t optimal for me but after fits and starts I decided that consistency was going to be my focus and my way back onto the workout hamster wheel.
So far, I’ve managed to not give myself any days off and I’ve gotten in at least 10,000 steps. At this point I expect the remainder of August to go smoothly. September may just be more consistency. Eventually I’ll get back to types of exercise, intensity, etc. For now, I’m happy with getting the consistency down.
Language
A few years ago, I got into the habit of doing several sessions of a foreign language on Duolingo every day. This was going swimmingly until it wasn’t. After about 170 days into my daily streak, I got interrupted and even when I tried to get back to it, I never managed. It fell off for a year or two. I decided to be consistent about it 231 days ago. I’ve certainly missed a day here or there, but my commitment for August was not to miss a day. I am hyper-focused on hitting this goal. It feels good and it gives me a sense of accomplishment.
I can’t say that I’m noticing a huge change in my vocabulary or comprehension in the last two weeks, but I know and trust that being consistent will get me to goals I haven’t identified yet.
Projects
I am a sucker for a project list. George will attest to this. And though I’m a little less driven by my lists these days, I found I was getting stressed for a growing list that didn’t get any shorter. So I shifted my approach for August. I would pick ONE project and focus on it. Consistently. I give it attention, with whatever time I have available, ever day until it is done.
Some days I can devote a couple of hours to it, other days, it might be fifteen minutes. But I focus on the one project consistently and always give it some time.
So far I’ve managed to refinish a dresser that has been on my list for YEARS. What a relief. And this same approach is helping me methodically knock down my to do list.
Writing
I love writing in this blog. I like that it gives me a creative outlet and a place to drop the random thoughts that I have. I also know that it’s mostly my mother who reads it. Hi, Mom!
I haven’t decided what I want this to turn into, if anything. I haven’t decided how long I might sustain it. I haven’t considered how I might take it to the “next level” or what that “next level” would be.
As I’ve noted before, this blog was about seeing if I could commit to writing consistently.
Can I do this twice a week? Once a week? Will I run out of ideas? Will I grow to hate it? Will it become more chore than delight?
Some weeks are easier than others, but I’m into my second year of writing a blog post once a week and the consistency of that achievement is the thing that blows me away. Is every blog magical? Of course not. I wouldn’t be offended if someone told me that. I know it to be true. Because for now, my focus is consistency.
I am proving to myself, I am proving to anyone who reads this, that I am capable of being here consistently. The rest will come because I’m putting one foot in front of the other and building the foundation of sustained habits.
Final Thoughts
This list certainly changes every month, every week, whenever I need it to change. But if I look back at my successes, they are all built on a foundation of consistency. Always showing up. Always doing the thing, even when you don’t want to. Focusing on the areas you want to have outcomes and being consistent there. And yes, identifying what habits are holding me back because they also get my consistent focus. I’ve been called tenacious, but this is really another word for consistent to me.
My super power is that I know I can do things over and over again when I set my mind to it.
It may sound like a boring super power, but it’s one that I think really moves your life forward over time.
Are you focused on being consistent? Do you agree that it’s a powerful trait? Or do you hate people who are consistent (read: boring) and would rather be surrounded by the delights of swirling unpredictability and chaos?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
