I am going to try really hard not to ramble on and on – but this is a topic that keeps smacking me in the face. I think it’s time to tackle it head on! I’ll give you the answer up front so you don’t have to waste time reading the whole article –
What IS Middle Age? No One Knows!! At least, no one can agree on it.
In my 40s, I was reading articles that told me I had to get rid of my mini skirts.
Pah! Never!
Right before I turned 50, I started receiving invitations to Senior Living (50+ retirement communities) and Silver Seniors Online Dating sites.
How old AM I? Does the world perceive me as so much older than I feel?!
In truth, it was this line of thinking that caused me to start the blog in the first place.
More recently I started seeing the trend that we should accept aging as a natural part of life and stop fighting it. Age gracefully. Show your age. Embrace your age.
Then three days ago I saw something on a friend’s social media that we should really consider 18-64 as youthful or at least a generic “Adult”.
Oy! This all makes my head spin.
And here’s one last final data point, if you look at the MEDIAN age of Americans (which is another possible definition of “middle age”) it is 38 years old.
LOL.
So, no one agrees on what is old or what is young or what is middle age.
I think that’s great news! This means that the definition is relative (which it has always been) and so we get to decide. Or even better, we get to simply not care!
I am a big proponent of fighting aging. Can we call that disgraceful aging? But it’s not because I resent aging, per se. It’s NOT because I think we shouldn’t age. I just think we don’t have to GIVE UP as we age. I think we can “fight” to stay fit and active and vibrant and healthy. I think we can “fight” to keep ourselves looking and feeling good so there’s less distance between how we FEEL on the inside and how we LOOK and ACT outside.
Here are my tenants.
Age is Just a Number
I know old young people and young old people. Frankly if I had to choose, I would rather be a young old person like my grandfather was. He had a playfulness in him that drew people into him. I don’t lie about my age, but I don’t feel like it defines me at this point. I can be a stupid 50+, a smart 50+, a silly 50+, a fascinating 50+. At some point the number falls off and only the adjectives matter. So I embrace my age, but then I let it go. I feel 30, so that’s my number in my head – an age where I was starting to get my “adult” feet under me but I still felt like I was learning so much – and I don’t imagine I’ll move much past that.
My only caveat is – I am not a fan of putting candles on birthday cakes. First of all, have you ever thought about how gross it is to eat a cake that someone’s basically spread germs all over. Ew. Second, you can create a real fire hazard when the number gets up there!
Don’t Be Limited By Rules
Have you heard the “rule” that we should get rid of mini skirts by the time we are 35? Or jeans by the time we are 50? Or go to tankinis and one pieces – bye bye bikinis? Or heels over 50?
I shudder and run protectively to my shoe closet brimming with stilettos. Just try to mess with my heels. I dare you.
I spent last week reviewing and editing my wardrobe. I borrowed a page from Marie Kondo and looked for things that Spark Joy. As I edited my wardrobe I found there are things that I no longer wanted to wear. That’s what I got rid of. But I ignored every “rule” I’ve ever read about how I should dress.
A friend said, “I need to do that. I’m too old to wear XYZ.”
Pah! Nonsense!
I kept my onesies and my mini skirts and my wiggle dresses and my stilettos!! In an upcoming Amazon Spring Dress Shopping piece – you’ll see that I even added to my flouncy minidress collection!
I have to keep reminding myself that the people writing this drivel are journalists being paid to create content as their job. I can forgive them…I can also ignore them.
Trust your instinct. The “rules” you follow come from you and they are relative only to you. What do YOU love to wear? What do YOU feel good in? Fashion comes and goes. It’s natural that our taste in clothing changes.
This of course extends beyond fashion. Another boorish article cautioned women over 50 to avoid “wild hair colors” or “too much makeup” or “too much jewelry” or “plunging necklines”.
Insert eyeroll. What a bunch of hooey!
Sweetheart – you do you.
Ignore Opinions
When I turned 50, a bunch of well-meaning friends started telling me that I was going to gain weight because “that’s just what happens when you’re over 50”.
Well, I refuse to accept that. If I gained weight, it because I didn’t rebalance my diet and exercise. And sure, hormones could be a factor too (they haven’t been for me…yet.)
Here’s the deal. Our bodies change. Our metabolism changes. But think about it. What we did and needed and wanted changed as we moved from pre-teen to teen, from teen to young adult, from young adult to “full blown” adult. Is it any wonder that it continues to change over time?
I look at this as going with the flow, rolling with the punches, embracing change…Aging Gracefully!
There are so many opinions thrown at you about aging. Trust your own voice.
Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin
This all comes down to being comfortable in your own skin. I think that’s the real gift of aging. With every passing year I learn a little more about who I am. What I like, what I dislike, what I can tolerate and what I can’t. I learn to stand my ground and be myself a little more loudly than before. That’s the beauty of aging in my mind.
Being unabashedly yourself.
The next time someone says, “Wow! You look great for your age!” respond like I do.
I look great for ANY age!
Resources to Inspire You
I’ve collected a group of amazing women who push boundaries and redefine what it means to age. They are paving the way for me in the same way I hope to pave the way for others. Check them out if you’re interested!
https://www.instagram.com/agelessrebelmagic/ (Angie Weihs – Live Agelessly, Style Fearlessly)
https://www.instagram.com/stylebeyondage/ (Sonia – Timeless Style with a Contemporary Edge)
https://www.instagram.com/fit_over_50_/ (Where fit, healthy, young people over fifty, are all on the same page)
https://www.youtube.com/c/HotandFlashy (Angie – Makeup, fashion, fitness)
www.youtube.com/nadinebaggott (Nadine Baggott – for beauty grownups)
